23 March, 2007

Cooking mama

Andrew got me a Wii game that I have been wanting for long time. It's called Cooking Mama. It's obviously a game about cooking. By moving the control, the player could do chopping, peeling, stirring, mixing dough? ect... I played for 3.5 hours last night after SnB, and my arms are a bit sore.

Speaking of SnB, I honestly have thought about stop going there lately. Here is the reason... I have noticed that around my friends from school and SnB, I still couldn't express myself all the time. What I mean is, I always said something that I didn't mean, or the way I said it turned out it sounded rude or non-sense. Mostly of the time, I understand what people are talking about in the conversations, but when it's my turn to say something, I don't know what to say or I would say something that makes me sound stupid or looks like an idiot. Sometimes, I sound like yelling; sometimes I sound like I am from another planet. I don't know what would people think if someone gave them an annoying look of "what the heck are you talking about"? For me, I would be very upset and frustrated. Don't get me wrong, not that my SnB friends or my classmates would give me that look, they are all being so patient to me. It's just that I am upset that I can't speak English like I speak Chinese which could let me talk regularly or at least use the right words for everything. I said I didn't want to go to SnB because, I guess I have lost the confident to actually go out of the house and talk to anyone besides my husband and my family. I even said to Andrew that I didn't want to leave the house, I didn't want to see anyone else, I don't want to be annoying to people, and I don't want to humilate myself anymore. I am mad at myself that I have been in the States for 7 years, and my english is still embarrassingly bad which most of the time people still don't understand what I am saying. I am very very depressed.

7 comments:

acambras said...

I think I can speak for all of us at S&B when I say that we would be very sad if you quit coming. You are a lot of fun to talk with and your English is just fine.

I've had similar trouble when we've gone to visit Oscar's family in Mexico, because my Spanish is certainly less than perfect. As you know, I'm a talker, but when I'm speaking Spanish, I sometimes have trouble finding the words that come so easily to me in English. And I have also worried that his family will think I'm an idiot. One time I offered to get Oscar's uncle's jacket, and I used the word "chaqueta," which is the word I'd learned in university Spanish classes. Well, it turns out that in Mexico, "chaqueta" is slang for "hand job" (something that I was not looking to offer to my boyfriend's uncle!)

I'm sure if I needed to speak Cantonese I'd be thoroughly screwed. ;-)

So PLEASE don't stop coming to S&B -- we would really miss you.

-Anne

Lilith Parker said...

Yeah, what Anne said. :) Anyway, there are plenty of people who have lived here their whole lives and still can't use the language properly. You're *trying*, which is what matters.

costumechick said...

Pheobe! we loe you! Please don't stop coming! I love that we are such a divese group, and part of that is you. You never have to worry about us being frustrated with you. we aren't. all of us have been "less than" in some situation. Besides, at least you are trying to learn a new language. You are so much farther than I am learning spanish.
I know just what we need to do!I feel a shopping trip coming on!

Julie said...

I have Cooking Mama for my DS. We haven't got it for the Wii yet! I love it!! We just got a game called Wii Play and it has stuff like laser hockey, fishing, duck hunt....etc....
It is a blast!

Anonymous said...

若然你是真心對待朋友,朋友又怎會因你的表逹能力未到頂點而對你有意見?倘若你身邊真有其人,肯定這個不是你的朋友,可以不用理會他。試問世上有幾多人可以非常流暢地講母語以外的語言?就算是母語,亦有很多人只可以用"可以接受"的程度去運用。要我寫一篇修辭美麗的中文文章,坦白說,我辦不到,因為我的中文水平也只是一般而已。

記住,很多事情也因為自己的"覺得"、"認為"而以為是身邊朋友的意見。但這只是你個人的愚見而已。事實上,有很多朋友因你其它優點、技能而欣賞你,因你比他們做得好。

只要你盡力、真心去做每一件事,成績和結果是不重要的,因你己盡了自己的能力,成績是好是壞,也須要接受,因這反應出你在某些事情的能力。沒有一個人可以於任何事情都做到100分的。

不要比較、跳出別人眼中的框框、認同自己、給自己多點信心吧!否則,你的愚蠢行為只會給自己和家人帶來負面的影響。ㅆ ㅆ

jennsquared said...

That's silly talk!!! You are just fine! Actually, we were all wondering where you were tonight!!!!????

Mom H said...

I wish many people born here could speak as well as you do!!! Your vocabulary is amazing, and with your great sense of humor, we hardly notice any "problems" (or at least what you think are problems).
p-l-e-a-s-e don't give up!
Costumechick is right...a shopping trip is just the cure! I had so much fun when we used to go shopping (even if we bought nothing!!)when you didn't have a car yet. Hmmmm...where to go? what to buy? how long can we stay away???